Skeptics of home education
What about socialization?
so/cial/i/za/tion
Pronunciation: (sO"shu-luzA'shun),/n.
- A continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behaviour, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position.
- To place under government or group ownership or control; establish on a socialistic basis.
- To fit for companionship with others; make sociable in attitude or manners.
- To convert or adapt to the needs of society.
- To take part in social activities.
It is essential that all human beings learn social skills because even though we participate in a culture, we still remain distinct individuals. Unlike other living species whose behaviour is biologically set, human beings rely on social experience to learn the nuances of their culture in order to survive. Social experience is the foundation of personality, a person's fairly consistent patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting. As we internalize our surroundings, personality develops. Without social experience, personality does not emerge. Therefore, social experience is vital to society as each generation must teach something of its way of life to the next.
The good news:
Home educated children score as well as, or better than, traditionally schooled students on most socialization tests. There are ample opportunities for socialization; neither the home educated children nor the home educating parents are isolated. Learning takes place not only at home, but in museums and grocery stores, on nature hikes and during routine visits to the doctor's office. It may happen around the kitchen table, but it's just as likely to flourish in back yards, field trips, libraries, and even the mall.
The smarty-pants response:
I choose to educate my child in the "real world" as opposed to an artificially created, age-segregated institution governed by politics and conformity.
What about Post Secondary Education?
Students currently wishing to pursue post secondary education can follow the program of studies for particular subjects that they require to enter post secondary education. They can then challenge the departmental examinations to gain credit for particular subjects. Alternatively, they can choose correspondence or online learning. Students can graduate with a high school diploma through home education. HSLDA (Home School Legal Defense Association) has been circulating a document with all the post secondary institutes that have accepted home educated students. All of the big five (U of A, U of C, NAIT, SAIT, Red Deer College, and Augustana) were on the list. Currently some home educated students are enrolling at Athabasca University and then transferring into other post secondary institutes. Many American Universities actively seek home educated students (including Harvard) as they have proven to be among the cream of the crop. We expect Canadian post secondary institutions to be following suit.
The smarty-pants response:
Post secondary? They'll have to learn to read and write first. And then who'll make me breakfast every morning?
What about sports? What about Grad?
There are all sorts of sporting opportunities outside the education system. There are club teams, local sports teams, lessons and let's not forget the joy we all had playing pick up hockey in the street in front of our parents' homes.
As for grad, homeschooling groups have organized these sorts of activities for their children. Homeschool Christian Fellowship does a grad dinner for all their grads. SHiNE will be looking into these events in the future.
The smarty-pants response:
I encourage my children to date "school" kids so they can experience all the wonders of that world.
Isn't the home educating parent giving up too much?
Veteran home educators will tell you that what you are giving up is the morning panic, the mad dash to the bus, the packing of endless lunches, the nagging of your children to get their homework done, and all of the stress and running around that goes with having children in school. What you won’t give up are some amazing evening activities like star gazing and night skiing because your children don’t have to be up for school in the morning!
The smarty-pants response:
You’re SO right. What time can I drop them off?
I'm intrigued by the idea of home education, but I don't want to have to give up my own work or interests. Will I have to?
Home education doesn't have to mean sitting with your children six hours a day and giving them lessons. Some parents combine part-time work with home education, and some even manage to work full-time and still allow their children to learn at home. Even parents who forego paid work to be home with their children do still have time for their own pursuits. You may find that your children may share your interests. You may also find that you enjoy learning along with them. Children typically have several outside activities and/or relationships with adult friends or mentors. You will not be the only one working with your children or facilitating their learning experience.
The smarty-pants response:
The only interest I have right now are how I can make a lotta money off these kids and SOON!
What about the school culture? Aren’t following rules, learning to take turns, putting up your hand, waiting in line, etc., something we need to learn? Also, aren’t drugs, peer pressure and bullying a normal part of growing up? Don’t my children need to learn how to deal with these things?
Children will encounter similar peer pressure and expectations as school kids do. Home educating does not keep them sheltered! However, ideally, the more difficult circumstances will be introduced at a slightly later age, when children have some time to develop a healthy self esteem and can respond appropriately to these pressures. Furthermore, when incidences occur, they will not be in a classroom setting where your childe is forced to sit next to a “bully” for 6-8 hours a day. By home educating your child, the real world is mimicked. If someone makes you uncomfortable, you leave the situation, move to another seat, or report to an adult who is probably within reach. Unfortunately, school sets up our society to “suck it up” and we often find ourselves in jobs and relationships we are unhappy in during our adult years. As for waiting in line and other school “norms”, they either learn these in places in society where they are appropriate (like waiting in line at the grocery store), or the don’t really apply to “real life” (like putting up your hand to go to the bathroom).
The smarty-pants response:
Not to worry, once a week, I body slam my kid into the kitchen cupboards, steal his lunch money and call him all sorts of names so he doesn’t feel like he missed anything. Actually, both of us look forward to this special bonding time.
How do I home educate my child? I have no idea where to begin.
Home educators use everything from school-at-home packaged curriculums to the child-led method of unschooling. All have shown to be viable, successful methods of learning at home. There are many, many resources for home educators and your first step should be to join a local support group. In SHiNE, you will meet seasoned home educators and other newcomers like yourself. On our website and in our library, you will find a wealth of information for you to start your journey.
Do I have to be a teacher?
Whether or not the parent is a certified teacher has not been shown to affect the success of home educated students. Many teachers who home educate say that their education degree can actually be more of an obstacle to overcome than any real help to them.
What kinds of people home educate?
All kinds. Home educators live in the country, city, suburbs, and small towns. Some are single-parent families. Some run family businesses, and some parents combine working outside the home with home educating. The home education movement is growing and is increasingly diverse as people of many religious, philosophical and ethnic backgrounds choose to home educate. Many ordinary families with ordinary kids are choosing to home educate as a way of reconnecting as a family unit.
How can parents teach subjects with which they are not familiar?
They don’t have to. Home education doesn’t mean that the parents are the only people from whom the child learns. The parents are facilitators, helping their children seek information from places and people. Private tutors and group lessons can be arranged or the parent can choose to learn alongside the child.
Does home education work for teenagers?
Yes. More and more teenagers are leaving school to be home educated. There are also increasing numbers of teenagers who have learned exclusively out of school their entire lives. These kids are studying subjects in depth, and learning from apprenticeships, work, and travel. They enjoy the independence of home education and the time to discover what they really love to do.
I’m interested in home educating, but the school has labeled my child “learning disabled” or “ADHD” and I worry that I’m not qualified to teach such a child.
It is noteworthy that many children who are labeled learning disabled in school turn out not to be disabled once they’ve been home educated for a while. Too often, the “LD” label is a result of group instruction; a child who does not follow the expected timetable, or learn in an expected way, does not thrive in a classroom setting. Finally, they may be a kinesthetic learner and may just require a few adjustments to the learning environment. Lately, there are parents in SHiNE who successfully home educate their LD child. It is often a very rewarding experience that develops a much healthier self esteem in children.
I love the idea of home education, but my spouse/parents/other relatives/friends are skeptical about the idea. What can I do?
Remember that many concerns about home education are based on ignorance or misinformation. For example, a friend may worry that your child is being deprived of access to group experiences, not realizing that home educated children participate in Scouts, community groups, homeschooling groups, etc. A skeptical relative may fear that this is simply your outrageous idea, not knowing about the thousands of successful home educators who have gone before you. Many skeptics are reassured when they learn that home educated children do have friends, do get into post-secondary institutions, and do have a wide range of learning opportunities. Whey you have done some reading about home education you will be able to select the passages that best address your critic’s concerns. Remember, too, that it can take time to feel comfortable with home education, and sometimes you may simply have to live with a friend’s or relative’s uncertainty for a while. Allow your children to be your best advocate. Most people are reassured once they see your children thrive and develop.
What about money? Isn’t home education expensive?
Home education can be as cheap or as expensive as your family’s budget allows. Libraries are never-ending sources of books and reference materials. Garage sales, curriculum swaps and used bookstores are great places to buy books. Homeschooling families may have time to volunteer at museums and/or theatres in exchange for free admission. Also, the opera and theatres in Edmonton all offer discount group rates for home educators. You can take advantage of cheap matinees as places will have discount rates during the week because they’re not as busy due to the kids being in school.
The other side of the money coin is that homeschooling requires a parent or other responsible adult to be with the kids all day. Each family handles this differently. Typically, one parent stays home and the other parent works to earn a living for the family. Other parents choose to each work half-time. Some adults are fortunate enough to have a home business so that they can work and still be available to their children. Some home educating parents have created babysitting co-ops where they take turns babysitting each other’s children while they work or run errands.
What if my child wants to learn something that I don’t know about?
One of the reasons that I love home educating is that I get to learn along with my kids! For those things we “learned” in school – but maybe don’t remember – home educating is a time for everyone to learn together. If you and your child want to know about magnets, you can check the encyclopedia, go to the library, take a field trip or buy/borrow some magnets and play with them. For more specialized subjects such as foreign languages, advanced science or a particular art form, it may work best to hook your child up with others who may be more fluent in the subject.
Can home educated students get a high school diploma?
Yes, but you may not need one. Home educated students can challenge 30 level exams for university entrance, or seek alternative entrance opportunities. A supervising board can also grant high school credits which can lead to a diploma based on work shown in different areas.
Can my son/daughter go back to school if home educating doesn’t work out?
Of course they can. Many home educated students have returned to successful public and private school careers.
We pay school taxes so we should use our schools.
Taxes and death, both are facts of life according to Mark Twain. Even people who do not have children in school are required to pay school tax. Thankfully, in Alberta, home educating parents do receive some of that tax money back from our respective school boards in the form of funding. Many of our tax dollars go to fund social programs for families that we never will benefit from. Think of employment insurance; you pay that but should you get laid off at least once or twice in your life to collect that? The greater good requires schools and, as with any good social program, our tax dollars go to support that program. Indirectly, we still benefit. Personally, I’m thankful every time I don’t have to stand in a line up at the Water Park on a week day!
The smarty-pants response:
My tax dollars go to prisons and I’m not planning on using them in the near future either.
SUMMARY Probably the best thing I have found for dealing with skeptics is just to allow your children to speak for you. However, when you find yourself in a position where you have to speak, try NOT to put down public schools and rave about all the successes of homeschooled students. Just try to address their concerns without fighting and remain calm. Yes, that can be easier said than done but it’s one of those BIG issues that require time and information. If this is someone in your immediate circle and you genuinely want them to be supportive of homeschooling, get them involved. Have grandparents take the kids on a field trip. Have neighbours teach your child a skill. Have spouses teach a certain subject that they’re interested in. Home educating works well, even for ordinary children and ordinary families. I try to remember that homeschooling is ultimately more of going toward something than running away from – even if it doesn’t start out that way. Home educating works, children thrive and it as much a family decision in how it affects the family as it is an educational decision. Enjoy your home educating journey and remember, we’re always here to support you!!! By Kathleen Meyer, 2004
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